MIKE DAMONE: I’ll give you four tickets in the fifth row… for the low price of $140. We go way back, you know. Hey, Charles, how you doin’, buddy? Car looks great. I mean really terrific. You’re really keeping it up wonderfully.

CHARLES: Don’t fuck with it!

Shit! That’s my man.

…Mike Damone Quotes

CHARLES: When are those Earth, Wind and Fire tickets comin’ in?

MIKE DAMONE: Earth, Wind and Fire? Geez, I haven’t heard anything. 

CHARLES: I’m planning’ on taking my little brother over here.

MIKE DAMONE: Is that your little brother? He’s a good-lookin’ kid.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MIKE DAMONE: Come on, Rat. Let’s go get you a woman.

MARK: Wow.

MIKE DAMONE: You ready for your moment of truth?

MARK: Damone, I noticed I was starting to get a pimple this morning…

MIKE DAMONE: Rat, the shyness routine is really starting to aggravate me. I mean, who is she, anyway? She’s a waitress in a pizza parlor. Look at her. Look at you.

MARK: Right.

MIKE DAMONE: All right. How do you feel?

MARK: I feel good.

MARK: Yeah?

MIKE DAMONE: Yeah. All right, that’s cool. You look good. All right? Go get her.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MARK: What do I say to her once we get in the car?


MARK: Come on, Damone, I need real help.

MARK: What’s your five-point plan?

…Mike Damone Quotes

MARK: Hello? Mike, it’s Mark.

MIKE DAMONE: What happened to your date?

MIKE: No, I can’t! I’m here. The food’s coming and everything. Look, would you do me a favor? 

MIKE DAMONE: Geez, I’m really kinda busy, Rat.

MIKE: Okay, thanks. Thanks a lot. Thanks.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MIKE DAMONE: Hey, Mark, is that you?

MARK: Yeah, hi. You come here?

MARK: Oh, wow! Yeah. I was looking for this. Oh, Mike, you don’t know Stacy Hamilton. Stacy, this is Mike Damone.



MIKE DAMONE: Nice to meet you. See you later. Right. Gotta be goin’. 

MARK: See you later.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MIKE DAMONE: This is gonna be great, Rat. It’s like the highlight of their day. 

MIKE DAMONE: Are you kiddin’? We’re gonna surprise ’em. Just fix your collar, all right? Relax. Just be cool. Attitude, remember? Where’d you get that, the hamper?

MARK: Hey, this is clean.

MIKE DAMONE: It’s like riding a bike.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MIKE DAMONE: Come over to help you with your math homework. Figured you could use it on such a hot day. Don’t worry. They’re gonna let us in.

…Mike Damone Quotes

STACY: Mike? Mike? Hi.


STACY: How you doing?

MIKE DAMONE: Good. How are you?

STACY: I hate walking. I have to walk every day. It’s such a drag.

MIKE DAMONE: Why don’t you get a ride with somebody?

STACY: Sometimes I ride with my brother, but he works mornings. Then he drives himself to school.

MIKE DAMONE: What a guy! Listen, Mark Ratner really likes you. Do you like him?

STACY: Mark is really nice. But I think I like you.

…Mike Damone Quotes

STACY: Well, uh… this is me.

MIKE DAMONE: Do you have any iced tea?

STACY: Yeah, sure. Come on in.

…Mike Damone Quotes

STACY: The annuals are coming out pretty soon. You gonna get one?

MIKE DAMONE: I don’t know.

MIKE DAMONE: I know what I look like.

MIKE DAMONE: I don’t know. Maybe. It’s no big deal. I probably will.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MIKE DAMONE: Must be nice having a pool.

STACY: You want to go swimming?

MIKE DAMONE: Yeah, sure.

STACY: I’m going to go change, okay?


STACY: Okay, great.

MIKE DAMONE: This is great iced tea.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MIKE DAMONE: I hope this is important because I could be blowin’ a big deal.

girlfriend one once. It’s simple. It’s no big deal.

STACY: Yeah. I got that planned. It’s going to cost $150 at the Free Clinic.

MIKE DAMONE: Doesn’t sound free to me.

STACY: Half, okay? And a ride to the clinic.

MIKE DAMONE: Seventy-five dollars and a ride. Okay.

STACY: Okay. Thanks.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MARK: No, I don’t understand.

MIKE DAMONE: She never really was your girlfriend.

Well, you know something, man? Maybe they do know you pretty good. Maybe I’m just finding out now.

MARK: Okay. Let’s go, man. I’ll break your fuckin’ head off.

MIKE DAMONE: Do something, man.

…Mike Damone Quotes

MARK: I understand. You can’t help it. You’re just lewd, crude and obnoxious.

MIKE DAMONE: I can deal with that.

MIKE DAMONE: Are we still friends? Huh?

MARK: Okay.

MIKE DAMONE: All right.

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